Spiritual Well-Being How long does grief last?

Research on grief has come a long way in providing new insight into how we grieve. We do not grieve in stages as once thought. We grieve in tides or waves. We may feel good for several days, but we can be overwhelmed with sorrow out of nowhere. At times our grief is manageable; at other times, it is like being swallowed up by a massive wave as we stand helplessly on the beach. Grief does not end after a year. Grief Does not move nicely from one stage to the next stage. Grief slips in like a thief at night, causing unexpected emotions to consume us for a while. I share this information on grief to help you understand what may happen in your life as you go through a time of bereavement. To be clear, bereavement is the period or process of grieving a loved one. Grief is the emotion you feel during the process. You should also know that most people learn to navigate the sometimes-troubled waters of grief and live healthy and everyday lives. Grief does not go away, but it does subside over the years as you adjust and become accustomed to not having your loved one with you. When you do feel grief creeping into your life, what should you do? 

• Acknowledge your grief. Don’t try to stuff your grief or suppress it. Grief is an emotion that needs time if you are going to move forward.
• Talk about your grief. Talking about your grief is vital; you release the inner emotions it brings up when you share your grief.
• Understand your grief. What triggers the response to your grief? Perhaps a favorite song, TV program, or meal you shared brings your inner emotions bubbling up.
• Accept your grief. Grief is love trying to communicate with you. The grief triggers, memories, and feelings are things you share, and grief is a complex emotion trying to restore what love has lost.
• There is a purpose to grieving. Grief replaces love. You are grieving because your heart is trying to find a replacement for the object of your lost love. Unfortunately, there is no replacement, just the lifelong bereavement process.

 The emotion of grief does lighten over the years, but it is a lifelong bereavement process. You grieve because you loved someone. The grief you feel is an emotion that takes over when love is lost. Grief is an emotional replacement for love. The good news is that grief can lead you back to the loving memories you have of the person you lost through death.